Believe in Me
by HATEmach1ne
Summary: Post 3.07. Chuck slowly cuts himself off from Sarah, Shaw, and Casey. He tosses himself into his work and eventually gives up on the belief that he is still the Chuck of old. AU and may loosely follow Canon from 3.07 and on. CHARAH certified.
1. Hello Alone

_Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck or anything associated with Chuck._

_A/N: I haven't posted jack squat in the pasts three months or so, give or take a month. Anyways, I've been watching the show and it looks like its getting quite angsty :3. I totally trust Fedak and Schwartz with the writing, but it's kind of getting to the edge :P. But that's just me, not sure about anything else. Anyways, first chapter here we go!_

**Believe in Me**

**Hello Alone**

He tossed back the shot of whiskey, the burning of his throat and the cold of the glass the only things he could feel.

"Another, please," he said lowly to the bartender.

Chuck pushed the glass towards the inner edge of the table where the heavyset bartender poured in some more whiskey. His sinewy fingers wrapped around the auburn liquor and pulled it to his mouth, the burning of his parched throat echoing through his rather empty body.

The shot glass fell back to the wooden table where Chuck slurred, "One more."

The man looked at him with a sad expression and poured him another shot full of whiskey. Chuck trailed his fingers absentmindedly around the rim of his cup, his mind clouded by the enormous amounts of alcohol streamlining through his veins.

He felt his phone vibrate against his thigh, the guitar of Death Cab for Cuties' "The Sound of Settling" exiting his pocket. Chuck ignored it and tossed back the shot and slammed the glass back down onto the wood.

He reached into his pocket and bypassed his phone, reaching for his wallet. He fumbled with his pocket for a moment and finally extracted it from the fabric. His fingers gingerly opened up the brown leather wallet, exposing his driver's license and Buy More identification card.

He pulled out a twenty and a ten and gently put it onto the bar table. He shakily stood up with the help of the bartender who held his arm steady. As he turned around, he caught a glance of pity from the bartender, but he didn't care and made his way out of the bar.

He shivered as he walked through the windy streets of Burbank towards his apartment. His eyes were unfocused and his legs wobbly as he took one faulty step after another. His arms swung idly at his side, undulating to and fro like one of the playground swings.

Most of the businesses around the city had closed; the only stores left open were liquor stores and twenty four hour fast food restaurants. He could hardly tell what time it was, let alone see ten feet in front of him. His eyelids blinked wildly as he navigated the deserted streets of Burbank.

The screech of a car to his left made him turn his head slowly. As he looked at the car, he noticed that it was a Crown Vic, a 1985 model to be exact. How he knew that, he didn't know, but he knew that he was in big shit.

The front passenger side seat swung open to reveal a rather muscular man, his face set in a menacing manner. A green Buy More polo stretched across his chest, the threads barely containing his muscled chest.

"Get in the car numb nuts," Casey shouted from the driver's seat.

Chuck looked into the car and wrinkled his nose, "Good to see you too, Casey."

He was obviously drunk from what Casey could see. Casey sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt, opening the door simultaneously. He stepped out, only to find Chuck holding his gut and retching out into a dumpster several feet away in an alley.

Casey wrinkled his nose as he smelt Chuck's vomit and watched as Chuck made his way back to the car. Chuck wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and rubbed it into the jeans he had worn to see Hannah earlier tonight. Those figments of his thoughts were long lost when the hazy cloud of liquor forcibly pushed his way into his mind.

"Get in the car and try not to vomit all over my car. Got that moron?" Casey ordered, receiving a cheeky grin from Chuck.

"Yes Major Casey. Oops, I mean Colonel Casey," Chuck said, accentuating the sentence with a burp.

Casey groaned in disgust and hopped back into the driver's side and Chuck quickly followed, sliding into the passenger seat. Casey smoothly put his seatbelt into the holder and turned to say something to Chuck.

He found Chuck having trouble with his seatbelt and groaned out loud once more. A few seconds later, Chuck buckled himself up and Casey quickly shot off into the night.

As Casey weaved through the night traffic of Burbank, he said to Chuck, "So geek, what's got you all in a tizzy?"

A snore was his answer and he turned to see Chuck asleep in his seat. A line of drool silently fell out of the side of his mouth and clung to the leather of the seat. Casey scowled at the sleeping form of Chuck before pulling out his phone.

He flipped it open and with one hand, he dialed Sarah's phone only to receive her "not here" message. With one of his signature grunts of annoyance, he flipped it closed as he turned into their apartment complex parking lot. When he parked, he turned to Chuck who was still asleep and tapped him on the shoulder.

Chuck didn't stir so Casey tapped him on the shoulder and shouted, "Wake up Moron. You have work tomorrow and I have no interest with you sleeping in my car all night."

Still Chuck did not move and Casey began to worry. Casey moved his hands to Chuck's neck, his index and middle finger probing his throat for a pulse. Luckily, he found one and one of Chuck's signature snores erupted from Chuck's snores.

The smell of whiskey had distinctly filled the car during the drive. Casey breathed in the scent of the fresh air as he stepped out onto the asphalt. Chuck had not woken up yet so it was up to Casey to actually get Chuck back to his apartment. With a grunt, he heaved Chuck's body over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and proceeded to walk into the apartment courtyard.

The gurgling of the fountain sounded off to Casey's left as he slipped into the dimly lit courtyard. His apartment was to the left while Chuck's was to the right of his. His sister, Ellie Woodcomb had an apartment across the way. Casey decided that Chuck shouldn't be alone with the little green man and knocked on Ellie's door.

A woman with brown hair down to the front of her shoulder's opened the door with a smile, only for it to turn into a worried expression as she saw her brother's slumped form over Casey's shoulder.

"What happened, John?" Ellie exclaimed and waved him inside.

Casey quickly walked into the room and nodded at Devon who was dressed in a pink and white apron, holding a spatula and wearing a chef's hat. Casey dumped Chuck onto the couch.

Ellie and Devon rushed over, quickly scanning Chuck's body for any injuries. A few minutes later, they finished their check up on his body and talked to each other lowly for a few moments.

"Was he drinking, John?" Ellie asked Casey.

"Yeah, I was just heading home from closing up the Buy More when I saw Chuck stumbling down the street," Casey explained.

"Do you know how much he drank," Devon questioned this time.

"I don't know, but I could distinctly smell the whiskey coming off him in waves. Filled up my car with it," Casey answered.

Ellie rested her hand on Chuck's forehead, a damp cloth covering the red of his forehead.

"Thank you for finding and taking him home, John. I don't want to think what would have happened to him if you didn't find him," Ellie said rather sadly. Devon rested a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it caringly.

Casey nodded his head, "It's no problem. Chuck is my _asset… _friend."

Ellie smiled and rubbed her brother's shoulders and Casey walked towards the door, only stopping when he felt Devon's hand on his shoulder.

Casey turned around and noticed Devon was fidgeting just a bit when he began to speak in a low voice, "Thank you for bringing him back John. If she were to lose him, I wouldn't know if even I could help her through it."

Casey shook his head, "I'm just doing my job Devon. Anyways, do you know why he went to go drink? This isn't normal for Chuck."

Devon eyes died a little bit and he took a big gulp of air and said, "Ellie told me he planned to break up with Hannah and that he still had feelings for Sarah. I don't know if those feelings made him drink or what happened after he broke up with her. You would have to ask Chuck about it."

Casey nodded, storing this information for later, "Alright, thank you Devon. Call me if his status changes."

With that, John Casey stepped out of the apartment into the cold night air. The moon shined on the fountain and Casey pulled out his phone and tried Walker again.

Sarah picked up on the second ring, her voice soft and sleepy, "What is it Casey?"

Casey ignored her questions, "Why didn't you pick up on my first call?"

Sarah quickly made up a lie, "I was in the shower."

Casey held the phone away from his ear and scoffed at her lie before he answered, "All right, briefing in Castle 7 AM sharp tomorrow. Bartowski won't be there."

This seemed to pique Sarah's interest, "What happened to Chuck?"

Casey grunted, "Moron's going to have a massive hangover from all the whiskey he drank."

"He was drinking? Were you drinking with him?"

"No, I had to pick him up. Apparently he broke up with Hannah. I don't know why though," Casey knowingly withheld that Chuck still had feelings for her. It would only cause more lady problems between Shaw, Walker, and Bartowski.

"Oh," was her simple answer, "Okay, is there anything else?"

"No," he said, "And Walker, I hope you know what you're doing. Good night."

The line went dead before Sarah could ask what he meant. She stared at her iPhone for a moment before she set it down on the vanity and lay back down on her bed.

She stared at the ceiling, wondering why Chuck would break up with Hannah. She had seen them together; she had seen them kissing even. He looked happy with Hannah and she couldn't comprehend why he would break up with her unless…

He still had feelings for her.

Something knotted in her stomach as she mulled the thought over.

She couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

_A/N: Short chapters 2-3k words per from here on out. Hoped you liked it and remember to REVIEW!_


	2. The Bravery

_Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck!_

_A/N: Thank you to those who welcomed me back. Glad you all enjoyed the first chapter. Here's the second one!_

**Believe in Me**

**The Bravery**

Sunlight poured through the open curtains, arousing a hungover Chuck Bartowski. He groaned and flipped over, taking the pillow with him.

"Rise and shine sleepyhead," Ellie's voice traveled into his ear.

"Nooo," he moaned and hugged his pillow tighter to his chest.

"Chuck," Ellie said in that tone that told him if he didn't comply…

"I'm up, I'm up," Chuck said and flipped the pillow off his head.

His head stung from his hangover and he blinked away his cloudy vision. The pain in his head was earsplitting and the blood pumping in his ears did not help at all. He grabbed at the vanity and found a glass of water with several pills right next to it. He greedily took the pills and water, tossing it back like a man who had not had water in months.

He winced as the kinks in his joins and limbs worked themselves out. As his body relaxed, he turned towards the door where Ellie stood, a neutral expression on her face. Her brown eyes were trained on him and he knew that she wanted answers to why he drank last night. Chuck swung his legs over the bed and got ready for Ellie's eventual questioning.

"So Chuck," here it begins, "What happened last night? John said he found you drunk wandering on the streets of downtown Burbank."

Chuck frowned, "It's… nothing… I'll… umm… deal with it."

Ellie rolled her eyes, obviously not satisfied with his answer, "C'mon Chuck, you can at least think of a better lie than that."

He winced as Ellie mentioned the word "lie." He then associated that word with liar, and then that word with Chuck Bartowski. What Hannah said last night to him had cut him deep and he knew what she said was true. He was a liar; he played with her heart and molded it to his own design. In the end, he used her as a means to an end he realized and his insides churned at the thought.

Lying is something that everybody did, yet there are people who excelled at it to a point where they can get the most perceptive people to trust them. Chuck didn't consider himself one of those people, but he could see himself slowly changing and morphing into that person. _A Spy's life _indeed.

He looked at Ellie with sad brown eyes and said in a somber tone, "I… it was… it was actually something she said and I absolutely know it to be the truth."

Ellie's face changed into concern and she took two powerful strides into the room, taking a seat next to him and asked, "What did she say?"

Her voice was so soft and compassionate; it was comforting and Chuck was glad he had a sister like Ellie.

"A lot of things, but one stood out like a sore thumb. She called me a liar and it was the absolute truth. I had played with her, toyed with her heart, and then I had the audacity to rip it out from her. I'm a liar Ellie, I'm an absolute liar."

He felt Ellie's arms wrap around his shoulder, pulling him into a hug, "Oh, Chuck… You're not a liar. Don't believe what she says. You're a decent man who dived into a relationship he wasn't ready for. Please Chuck, don't beat yourself for this. You had to do this or you would both suffer in the future. If you won't do it for yourself, at least do it for me and the people who care about you."

He plastered a fake smile to his face, "Thank you… Ellie. Um, you always seem to know what to say to cheer me up."

Despite what she had said, he still saw himself as a liar. Everybody around him, even the woman he loved, had called him a liar, albeit indirectly. The resolve he had been building earlier had begun to strengthen and a hard edge subconsciously grew around his heart.

Ellie smiled brightly and said, "That's what sister's do. They help their baby brothers. Now c'mon, I need to check you over. How much did you drink last night?"

"A couple shots of whiskey."

"Alright, go get a shower than come out into the living room. We have some extra clothes for you in the drawer, feel free to pick whatever. Devon's at work and I have a shift in an hour so make it snappy. Doctor's orders," Ellie said with a giggle.

Chuck rolled his eyes at his sister's epic fail at humor, "Yes Dr. Bartowski. Oops, excuse me, I mean Dr. Woodcomb."

She laughed and walked out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He huffed as he went over last night, analyzing and reanalyzing the stinging words Hannah had said to him. He couldn't refute any of it; all of it made sense in his mind. He was a liar, a change that had taken place over the course of two years, honed by his second job and double life. He sighed and walked over to his drawer, his legs and feet shaky from the night of inactivity.

He pulled out some clothes and stalked out into the corridor, his mind a little lighter and more resolved about the choice he had made last night. As he stepped into the bathroom, the distinct ringing of his phone caught his ear and he doubled back into the guest room to pick up his phone.

As he picked up the phone, he stopped to listen to one verse of his ringtone:

_Our youth is fleeting,  
Old age is just around the bend.  
And I can't wait to go gray._

Those words struck something inside him and it resonated throughout his body. He was 29, closing in on 30 and he was living a dead end job with an 11 dollar an hour pay. If it wasn't for his second life, he'd still be working the Buy More with no sense of purpose, still mourning the loss of Jill, and wallowing in his self-pity. Hell, if it hadn't been for the second life, his life would be absolutely boring.

He answered the phone and the voice of an old woman came over, "Mr. Bartowski, your request has been approved…"

_A/N: Okay, I lied. The chapter wasn't 2-3k words, it was 1.2k words. :P Anyways, I hope you like it and remember to review._


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